etc. Being a grown up with a family, studies and a job, friends and hobbies my life is often busy and so is my friends so we often use this website https://doodle.com/ but then people always know what kind of an event we are trying to schedule. A party people pop quiz so to speak. What are you doing? (This could be walked back but it would require a decent amount of active displays of interest in me from the other person.). LW here. The mental stress is the same whether you interrupt a current rest period or interrupt the chance to get there before it before it starts. This is OT, but if someone would like to explain how its supposed to work in the US, Id appreciate it. For those who are ready to stand out from the crowd, we've gathered ten hilarious out of office messages that will inspire you to raise the bar the next time you sit down to write an autoresponder. Later that evening I find out through facebook that HE went out ice skating, with several of our friends, and he had never even mentioned to me that he was going, let alone asked if I wanted to come too! W- Work free. (This one will definitely keep them guessing.) Which is odd, because if anyone has an aura of genius around them, she does. It makes you feel like whatever you do, you are expected to conform to being othered. Yes! I'm going to say this to my parents. It means Im doing nothing., Glorying in my splendid solitude how about you?. Ive found that Why do you ask? comes across as a little cold or accusatory over text, but can be really warm/ friendly in person or over the phone. and the goal is to just be ok with letting them down when they are the ones who have set an unagreed demand on your time. I think this is an expected thing for women to do. I absolutely support you insisting on it and tossing her out on her ear if she doesnt want to. Tell me more! Of course I would never do this it would be returning the aggression but its a real puzzle to me. She didnt have other plans; she just wanted to draw a line in the sand about him telling her what to do. "Yes, the weekend always . Yes, my current circles understand introversion well, even the ones who themselves are extraverts . why do you ask? when Im texting or emailing. Hi / hello + [thing I want to talk about] can almost seem too abrupt in that context, particularly among peers. Ive got some stuff to do around the house, etc. Indeed. We received your email and will get back to you with a (human) response as soon as possible. I may need some babysitting Try delaying your answer and then see if taking the pressure off yourself to answer the question or commit to stuff helps you feel less annoyed by this question. Thats possibly reasonable to do with a minor child, but youre still acting to preserve a parental level of dominance over her as an adult. 1. @TootsNYC If you want your daughter to do her share of chores, it is a better idea not to tell her to take the trash out (now or in the next couple of hours) but rather have a family meeting at the beginning of the week, talk about what needs to be done (not only stuff that you consider important but also stuff that your daughter considers important) and then you talk about who does what. Jana: I'm good. Leisure time is notI give up my leisure time to hem her pants or help her move back from college or make her dinner. Oh, yes, white supremacy/racism in action. You get to notice pretty fast that your opinions, feelings and thoughts dont matter if they dont conform to a view of the world that doesnt let them look like heroes and you like a cultural clich. This is another good and funny response to give to "whats up" because depending on who you say it to, they might find it to be relatable enough to laugh at. ooh. So yeah, I think your Swedish approach is fairly standard for American culture as well. If its someone from work that I have no personal relationship with, then Any plans this weekend? just sounds like office small talk, the forward-looking version of How was your weekend? If its someone I know personally, then Are you doing anything tomorrow? sounds like a way to try to trick me into agreeing to do something not-fun (because if it was fun, theyd ask outright). Me: .No. I always respond to casual/formulaic how are you questions with something positive, specific, and widely approachable. Why? BUT! not? Then there is the Miss Manners rebuff, where the pitch is level until the final word is raised. Ive got[an alligator to befriend, etc]. Of course, you can replace "great" with any adjective (positive or negative) that describes your day in a general way. Add me as another one for Why? or Why do you ask? Because Ive discovered the people who ask what Im doing are usually people who want to ask me to do something they know I wont want to do (usually. No, just running some errands. Try to be kind and positive in your response. I might even be more direct My kids and I need the walk to school for ourselves. The kind of situation where someone finds out you are free that evening and then says, Good! If I always have to be the one reaching out, that can feel either like the emotional and planning labor are being taken for granted, or like they dont actually care whether they see me. Invitations are not commands. The people asking the question are rude and betraying their bigotry. We assume you wont want to share all your more detailed baggage or bad news with someone you dont know very well and we are a little taken aback if you actually do because it indicates that you feel a level of closeness with us that we didnt necessarily feel with you. I am fond of: Oh, you know how it is. You can help!'. But it is a cost. Someone responding with why do you ask? would basically make me instantly take a mental step back from that person in terms of comfort level. :) Hope you like our compilation and try to stay serious ,please . The second interpretation of this question is, what are you doing in life? I never thought about the fact that some people might be actually trying to relieve the pressure! Im busy! But most of all, thats my time with my kids, and Ive realized that Im missing it. What are you doing?, Unless Im doing something unusual, its true; its wonderfully vague and gives no information; and I get to immediately turn the question back on the asker (which often leads to a better conversation anyway.). "Thanks, it was a chance to relax and I am grateful for that.". What are you up to this weekend? sounds like small talk, though it obviously depends if the asker is a known power-player. Theres just no way, you see, that this is what a womans mind does, what she is for. I usually just say Im doing laundry. My instinct leads me to: answer back in the affirmative (great) because Performing Happy is expected of us, thank them for their interest (thanks), and repeat the gesture (yourself?). I mean, what else are you supposed to do with life? . I'll leave you to be the judge of when it's most appropriate, all . How odd to be on both sides of this! Agreed I dont think that the question signals the other person should do all the planning, i think its a way to judge how willing and able they are to hang out sometime in the immediate future. They say hey, and you reply with the same. Sometimes I go with something like, Im already committed to a couple of things, but they still have to get back to me about when, exactly, theyre happening. But I think its disingenuous? My ILs do this. Call me. Does *your* phone not work? And to this day, unless its a good friend with whom I know I can say eh I just dont feel up to what you suggested even though Im not busy, I get anxious whenever someone pulls the so what are you up to on X day? question. When she asks me what Im doing on a particular day, I just say Im not sure or I need to check my calendar until she tells me what she wants. Theres also nothing wrong with the sitting alone in the dark rocking back and forth, it just seemed a good description of the void my mother thinks no plans equals. I wish people could just say I want to do (thing) do you want to do (thing) with me?, All I can tell ya is what I have been doing for years: Oh, theyre going to the movies on Saturday? I like the fact that at my workplace, anything of that sort gets a polite reminder to all that US citizens come in accents of infinite variety, and its rude to imply that people arent from here in the same way that others are over something like an accent. Answer with small truths. Thats already happenedshe made a big stink about her dad telling her that they were all going to do something to support me at a time when I was really upset (something that would have taken about an hour of her time). Good, I just saw the cutest squirrel.. So in the next day or two, perhaps on some morning when you leave your house and shes there waiting for you, you tell her, firmly but cheerily with giant beaming smiles that the morning walks will be separate from now on because those are for you to have conversation with your children. At the very least, it makes you feel like the place you live isnt really your homethat youll never belong or be from there, that you have no claim to it. My current boss is a total jerk. Which sometimes was fine but not always. Its okay that my body needs time to recuperate. Any event. 2. Itd be a big help, but if not I could find someone else. Which is a lot of caveats! Sorry about that! 2. If they really are trying to manipulate you then Im afraid having just the right words wont fix it you will probably have to say no directly when they finally get to their request. Accompany your morning treating with a Halloween wish. Most of those projects and research were for fanfiction. +1, Im the same way. This has not happened to me, that I know about, but aunt has a sibling who does not hang out with the family much, for reasons that dont need exploring at this juncture, and I have heard them say stuff like I cant believe shed rather [wash her hair/go to the doctor/chores/etc] than have lunch with us. or right out, shes making up excuses to not go out with us. And some family members are theyre hurt by it and some just dont get it. My go-to refusal of any invitation is I have other plans, and nobody needs to know whether my other plans are a work thing I cant get out of or a fun evening out or painting my toenails in front of Netflix. I grew up in the Guessiest Guess household ever my mother once quit a job because they said they liked her work so much that theyd like her to do more shifts, and she was angry at being put in the position of having to say no so I didnt come out of childhood equipped with much of a toolbox for saying no assertively. Also, I dont expect that the LW is bothered by every person who casually asks this question; Im sure they can tell when someone is just making chit chat vs someone who is interested in spending time together. If they mean well then they will try to stop when you explain that you prefer to be asked directly. To put it another way, I guess: this is such a normal way to open a conversation that being annoyed by it means that you will be annoyed by a wide variety of people, forever. Oh you want to invite me to happy hour [with a bunch of colleagues I hate when theyre sober let alone when theyre drunk]? ), its pure formula. This will hopefully lead to the two of you sharing what your plans are and possibly hanging out. I know theyre just trying to be friendly but it gets exhausting that starting Wednesday I have to deal with so what are you up to this weekend and then AGAIN on Monday what did you do this weekend? (So I guess Tuesday is the only day safe from that question, ha. Although you risk hearing all about the questioners plans. Things have a funny way of working out. Open your mouth and close your eyes andhold on, it got away., (1) Want to have dinner sometime? Its not a question I like either, some of which is due to manipulative/pushy people angling for my time/energy like in the letter, and some of it is due to feeling like I have to feign excitement or a more interesting life in order to keep the conversation going, which is draining (IDK if this is an introvert vs extrovert thing or like how some people seem to have no trouble filling the conversation or making their lives sound interesting; I am not one of those people). You know the people youre interacting with and their likely motivations better than we do, of course. By formal invitation, Im not necessarily meaning an engraved invitation, like for a wedding or other fairly formal event. Another get out the LW could use is, Im still figuring out my plans for that daywas there something you wanted us to do together? and then Yes, thatll work, if you want to do the thing, or Hm, I dont think I can fit that in, if you dontno need to specify that the thing that it wont fit into is a day of sitting around in your pajamas and binge-watching things on Netflix. Well, it is a basic level of people-ing that you need to get used to if you want to interact with other humans, yanno. So the onus is on you, when talking to a new person, to communicate that youre just interested in exchanging chitchat about what everybody did/will do over the weekend. Is that the best you've got. When you are waiting for the Good morning text. Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. But they seemed concerned that this type of answer was not appropriate or that there might be a better strategy. I have some friends who are really passive about planning things and it drives me insane I have started actively responding what did you have in mind? and batting back all their attempts to make me plan the night. @freyasacksen I have a friend who will almost always respond with, Still alive. Always true. 1. I didnt realize it until I noticed they were running a long-term experiment when they traveled of noting responses they said they like Canada and big chunks of northern and western US, because if they say theyre British, no one bats an eye despite their obvious Polish accents. Funny Response to How Are You There are many fun things we could say and people will think that you're smart and interesting! I have never had it used against me as an ableist term, but I will use a different word in the future. One evening he bragged that he never outright asked anyone to do anything for him. It follows the script they want, which is that the person they are targeting needs their approval of their reason for pleading off. my mother does this. You know the parent is deliberately being controlling if that wont work for me gets any variation on, BUT WHYYYYYYYYYYY. Not always). They also influence how OFTEN. - Ogden Nash - Old timers, weekends, and airplane landings are alike. Youre right, adult people who feel safe and are treated well like adult people probably dont react like that. And I try to be easier on myself for not having the exciting weekends I think I should be having. Or something. And then he goes around and rants to all his buddies that women are sooooooooooo shallow because she *wouldnt* date him based only on his appearance (yes, I know the flaming illogic is bizarre). I think the reason is that telling people about fun things is potentially fairly personal. So I love this response cuz its keeping it real! That's why you should remember these funny responses to "what are you going to do with your life" for the next time the question pops up: If you have no idea what degree you're going to get or where you want to live in the future, pretend that you have something big planned, but don't want to ruin the surprise.
funny responses to what are you doing this weekend